...

How were you before?

...

Bland. Before i had you, i laid in bed until my sweaty skin fused with the sheets and i could not tell if i was awake or asleep.

Intense. The horse that conducts the carriage I pull, would always crack the reins loud enough that my ears were pardoned from the cheers and screams of the crowd. He tied my blinders so tight that they became bone protruding from my skull, Not letting me see anything but whatever he steered me into.

Bland. Without you in my system, everyday’s events were thrown in a blender and tossed around until the flurried mush became illegible and I could no longer recall anything that had come to pass no matter if it were minutes or months behind me.

Intense. In your absence, I was filled with so much rage that anyone who looked my way made my hitlist, becoming future victims of whatever outburst would soon slip past my teeth, my future jaw slack from the shock over whatever that day's crisis was.

Bland. Without you numbing me I could see around the objective truths you now dangle in front of my eyes, making everyday so confusing that I simply wouldn’t look.

Or move.

Or talk.

Or smile…

I keep my eyes closed these days as well.

With or without you I’ll always be a creature of habit.